Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Here we go again.

Welp, here we are again, a new chapter in our story, only...it feels like I'm reading it backwards, not forwards. It's almost like the last month ever happened.  Only it did....and I don't know how I feel about it.  Empty.  Hollow.  Nothing. That's a good way to describe it.  Maybe my emotions just need to be turned off for awhile to let myself re-coop mentally.   My period started Monday and today I started birth control again.  We'll continue writing our story in March.

I had a great chat/therapy session with my infertile/just miscarried friend over the weekend.  Boy, was that great to get to talk to her.  I think we both needed it.  We enjoyed several bottles of wine over the course of our visit...(we shared with DH's...don't worry...we're not that big of lushes...although I did have a lil headache the next morning!).  We were both in such positive moods, I don't know, maybe I drained myself of it.  All I know is this week I'm empty.  No sadness.  No happiness.  No nothing.  I've been a bit of a zombie and I'm really hoping I snap out of it soon.  Although...it might not be such a bad thing for it to last a few more weeks.  I'm meeting up with 3 girlfriends from college---and all 3 of their adorable infants--next weekend.  Maybe 'nothing' is what I need to make it through that emotional torture? 

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