Wow....our journey has come to an end. Our beautiful baby girls arrived on October 22, 2012!! It's almost surreal having them here. They are absolutely amazing! Avery Isabelle & Madelyn Leona were born via surprise c-section at 34wk, 4days gestation.
I had a regular appointment on October 17th for an ultrasound and nonstress test to make sure everything was looking good. Surprisingly, we discovered I was 3cm dilated and my doctor put me on a modified bed rest, basically told me I was done working. Well, 5 days later, I woke up and something just felt "off". I called my doctor's office and they scheduled me to come in that morning just to check everything out and make sure it was "nothing." I almost didn't make Heath come with me because I thought I was being paranoid. Our appointment was scheduled for 11:30am. My doctor did the internal exam and SURPRISE! I was 5cm dilated (without feeling any contractions besides what I was calling Braxton Hicks contractions) and baby A was no longer head down...instead my doctor felt feet! She sent us directly to the hospital and our sweet girls were born several hours later!
At 1:55pm, baby A, Avery, came out (feet first) weighing 5lb, 8oz 19" long. Her little sister, Madelyn, came out at 1:56pm weighing 4lb, 10oz, 19" long. They were (and still are!) so beautiful. We spent 12 days in the NICU with some minor feeding issues and everyone has been home now for a week and a half. The transition home has been pretty good; of course having my mom here to help has made a huge difference. I tear up just thinking about her leaving next week, but I'm sure we'll all be fine!
I still can't believe we have come so far. We are so blessed...and in love.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Getting closer....
Wow. I'm 30 weeks along with these little ladies. It's almost hard to believe! Things have been relatively uneventful, which is awesome! These girls are "all belly" as someone put it--and I'm super thankful for that as well! However, my back would disagree. The 34 lbs I've gained are literally all in my belly. Besides the hellacious indigestion & heartburn, which causes sleep to be not-so-fun and an aching back, I really can't complain!! How lucky am I???
It's so surreal that they could be here as soon as NEXT MONTH!!! We are coming right along with everything we need to do to be ready for them (besides having any clue how in the world to take care of twins....). The office (with mustardy-green shag carpet and wood paneling) has slowly transformed into a darling nursery with gray walls, new light & outlet fixtures, and new carpet (as of Wednesday!). The cribs/crib mattresses have been taking up wall space in the living room, anxious to be put together. The dresser is patiently waiting to be brought upstairs into its new room. It's safe to say that by the end of the weekend our nursery may actually look like a nursery--furniture and all!
My shower is also this weekend--so pumped! My sister and sister-in-law are hosting a "country chic" theme, with cowgirl inspired decor, including our crib quilts. I really can't wait to see all the good loot we're getting--mainly so I can figure out what we still need. I have a bad case of "nesting" already and it's been so hard to refrain. Come Sunday, though, all bets are off! I'm washing, prepping, stocking, buying, storing, and cleaning everything that says baby in our house. We are gonna be ready for these girlies....but I'm praying they still stay put...at least for another 6 weeks (which may be pushing it, according to my MFM).
Here's a picture from last weekend....we haven't taken the 30 week belly shot yet. Better do that tonight. I swear I'm growing by the hour!
It's so surreal that they could be here as soon as NEXT MONTH!!! We are coming right along with everything we need to do to be ready for them (besides having any clue how in the world to take care of twins....). The office (with mustardy-green shag carpet and wood paneling) has slowly transformed into a darling nursery with gray walls, new light & outlet fixtures, and new carpet (as of Wednesday!). The cribs/crib mattresses have been taking up wall space in the living room, anxious to be put together. The dresser is patiently waiting to be brought upstairs into its new room. It's safe to say that by the end of the weekend our nursery may actually look like a nursery--furniture and all!
My shower is also this weekend--so pumped! My sister and sister-in-law are hosting a "country chic" theme, with cowgirl inspired decor, including our crib quilts. I really can't wait to see all the good loot we're getting--mainly so I can figure out what we still need. I have a bad case of "nesting" already and it's been so hard to refrain. Come Sunday, though, all bets are off! I'm washing, prepping, stocking, buying, storing, and cleaning everything that says baby in our house. We are gonna be ready for these girlies....but I'm praying they still stay put...at least for another 6 weeks (which may be pushing it, according to my MFM).
Here's a picture from last weekend....we haven't taken the 30 week belly shot yet. Better do that tonight. I swear I'm growing by the hour!
Friday, August 3, 2012
We're seeing PINK!
After our last terrible appointment, we had to wait 3 weeks before we got to see the nuggets again. Well, it's official now!!! We are having GIRLS!!!! WHAT??! I was sooooo surprised! I hadn't been looking at anything girly because I seriously thought we had some boy parts in there. It's been so much fun looking at bows, tutus, dresses, and other girly things! I don't want to say I was disappointed, but I was definitely surprised to learn they were both lil ladies. I couldn't be more excited now, though! Daddy had the biggest smile on his face when the doctor told us.
We had decided on some nursery colors before we knew genders-light gray walls and the aqua colored dresser I refurbished last summer/fall. So we knew those colors were the main colors, but we weren't sure what we were going to accent with. After many hours of looking at Etsy, we came up with our color palate: aqua, gray, red, and pink. I know it sounds a little different, but trust me. Here are some of the quilts that served as inspiration:
and another...in fact, this is one we're going with, minus the green. Heath doesn't like the green in it.
...and here is the fabric that their crib skirts will be made out of!
One more picture! This was taken at 21 weeks. I'm almost 23 weeks right now!
We had decided on some nursery colors before we knew genders-light gray walls and the aqua colored dresser I refurbished last summer/fall. So we knew those colors were the main colors, but we weren't sure what we were going to accent with. After many hours of looking at Etsy, we came up with our color palate: aqua, gray, red, and pink. I know it sounds a little different, but trust me. Here are some of the quilts that served as inspiration:
...and here is the fabric that their crib skirts will be made out of!
One more picture! This was taken at 21 weeks. I'm almost 23 weeks right now!
Thursday, July 5, 2012
...and the babies genders are....who knows.
This week was our first appointment with the maternal-fetal medicine doctor (MFM) as well as our big anatomy scan. We are lucky enough to have specialists from the University med center come out to Kearney once a month for these appointments, instead of us having to make the 3 1/2 hour drive to Omaha. As of right now, we're only needing to see them once a month, starting at 18 weeks (which is how far along I am right now!) Now, I appreciate the fact that they make the trip out here so we don't have to make the trip there, especially after our many drives there to see our RE. Of course, we would make the drive if we had to, but it's nice that it's one less thing we have to do. Or so I thought.
Our appointment was for 8:30 AM on Monday morning. After waiting for a half hour in the waiting room (pretty typical), we were finally taken back where the nurse did her thing: weight, urine sample, BP, etc. She tells us the doctor is still with her first patient and it would be a little while longer. She puts us in a room and we wait some more. Well, fast forward 45 minutes and the doctor's finally ready for us (mind you, we've been here for an hour & 15 minutes by this point, and I've peed once but of course have to go again). We go into the tiny ass room and she starts the ultrasound without so much as a 'Hi, I'm Dr. So'n'so' (again, first time EVER with the MFM). DH & I were already not impressed with our over hour long wait and this definitely put a sour taste in my mouth. It also didn't help that she looked like she had just rolled out of bed. I mean, literally. Her hair was in a messy pony tail and she wasn't wearing a bra. SHE WASN'T WEARING A BRA. (As if it wasn't already obvious, she then bent over to pull out the table when her probably too low cut top proceeded to reveal her goods to me.) Um. Ok. I guess they weren't kidding when they say "anatomy scan." I didn't realize a little peep show came with it.
She starts doing her thing without saying 2 words to us. We both start getting antsy because we have no idea what she's doing. DH starts asking questions and quickly she becomes annoyed (like, sighing, eye rolling, snide remarks and all) towards DH's questions (none of which were out of line, I didn't think.) Now, after I went online and bitched to the December due date group on the bump website and someone mentioned that typically MFMs don't want you asking a lot of questions because they are trying to get precise measurements, did this make sense. It would have been helpful if we had heard this from, oh, I don't know, our MFM?
About 20 minutes into the u/s I started feeling light-headed. I'm not sure if it was the constant pushing of the u/s wand on my extremely full bladder, the 103 degree tiny ass room I was in, or the fact that I was lying flat on my back (something that I haven't liked doing since about 15 weeks). After 5 minutes of trying to convince myself I was fine, I had to stop the ultrasound. The dr. helped sit me up and I started sweating profusely and seeing stars. The vaguely heard the doctor say she was going to get me some water when I asked DH to get the trashcan. There it was: my first, official pregnancy vomit. Awesome. As I'm puking, what do I do? Why, piss myself, of course. Double awesome. The whole fiasco required us to stop everything, get me water and a fan to cool that god forsaken hot ass room down, and go to the bathroom. 15 minutes later we were ready to roll again. Who the hell knows what time it is by now. We get going again and I felt okay for the rest of the time, but it still took forever.
We get to the end of the u/s and DH asks again if we can find out the sex. Her reply: "it's too early." (Sidenote: I had had an appt with my reg OB 10 days before, where my OB did look at the sexes. I told her I didn't want to know because DH wasn't with me. Bull shit it's "too early.") Finally she glances at baby A and says, "well, I don't see boy parts, so it must be a girl." She goes over to baby B and says, "well, this baby won't spread the legs, but there might be a penis. Boy." Uhhhh....could ya check again and be a little more thorough? So she looks at A again, "well, maybe this one's a boy." Wait-you just said girl?! Screw it. We left the doctor's office not actually knowing, so I decide to call and leave a message for my reg OB to call me when she's available. She calls back and I ask if she remembers what they were for 10 days ago (she didn't write it in the chart, I was sure to check with the nurse before we left.) Now, I know my OB has probably looked at over a 100 babies since she looked at mine. Her response, "I can't really remember, but I feel like I thought they were both girls." Wait, what?! Now, in the course of a half hour, we had been told girl-boy, boy-boy, and girl-girl. SO WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY?! Who the hell knows at this point.
The most frustrating part about this--we were planning a gender reveal party for this weekend. Well, cancel that. No genders to reveal. The waiting game begins again. July 23rd. They better be on their best behavior and give up the money shots. I'm tired of waiting!
Our appointment was for 8:30 AM on Monday morning. After waiting for a half hour in the waiting room (pretty typical), we were finally taken back where the nurse did her thing: weight, urine sample, BP, etc. She tells us the doctor is still with her first patient and it would be a little while longer. She puts us in a room and we wait some more. Well, fast forward 45 minutes and the doctor's finally ready for us (mind you, we've been here for an hour & 15 minutes by this point, and I've peed once but of course have to go again). We go into the tiny ass room and she starts the ultrasound without so much as a 'Hi, I'm Dr. So'n'so' (again, first time EVER with the MFM). DH & I were already not impressed with our over hour long wait and this definitely put a sour taste in my mouth. It also didn't help that she looked like she had just rolled out of bed. I mean, literally. Her hair was in a messy pony tail and she wasn't wearing a bra. SHE WASN'T WEARING A BRA. (As if it wasn't already obvious, she then bent over to pull out the table when her probably too low cut top proceeded to reveal her goods to me.) Um. Ok. I guess they weren't kidding when they say "anatomy scan." I didn't realize a little peep show came with it.
She starts doing her thing without saying 2 words to us. We both start getting antsy because we have no idea what she's doing. DH starts asking questions and quickly she becomes annoyed (like, sighing, eye rolling, snide remarks and all) towards DH's questions (none of which were out of line, I didn't think.) Now, after I went online and bitched to the December due date group on the bump website and someone mentioned that typically MFMs don't want you asking a lot of questions because they are trying to get precise measurements, did this make sense. It would have been helpful if we had heard this from, oh, I don't know, our MFM?
About 20 minutes into the u/s I started feeling light-headed. I'm not sure if it was the constant pushing of the u/s wand on my extremely full bladder, the 103 degree tiny ass room I was in, or the fact that I was lying flat on my back (something that I haven't liked doing since about 15 weeks). After 5 minutes of trying to convince myself I was fine, I had to stop the ultrasound. The dr. helped sit me up and I started sweating profusely and seeing stars. The vaguely heard the doctor say she was going to get me some water when I asked DH to get the trashcan. There it was: my first, official pregnancy vomit. Awesome. As I'm puking, what do I do? Why, piss myself, of course. Double awesome. The whole fiasco required us to stop everything, get me water and a fan to cool that god forsaken hot ass room down, and go to the bathroom. 15 minutes later we were ready to roll again. Who the hell knows what time it is by now. We get going again and I felt okay for the rest of the time, but it still took forever.
We get to the end of the u/s and DH asks again if we can find out the sex. Her reply: "it's too early." (Sidenote: I had had an appt with my reg OB 10 days before, where my OB did look at the sexes. I told her I didn't want to know because DH wasn't with me. Bull shit it's "too early.") Finally she glances at baby A and says, "well, I don't see boy parts, so it must be a girl." She goes over to baby B and says, "well, this baby won't spread the legs, but there might be a penis. Boy." Uhhhh....could ya check again and be a little more thorough? So she looks at A again, "well, maybe this one's a boy." Wait-you just said girl?! Screw it. We left the doctor's office not actually knowing, so I decide to call and leave a message for my reg OB to call me when she's available. She calls back and I ask if she remembers what they were for 10 days ago (she didn't write it in the chart, I was sure to check with the nurse before we left.) Now, I know my OB has probably looked at over a 100 babies since she looked at mine. Her response, "I can't really remember, but I feel like I thought they were both girls." Wait, what?! Now, in the course of a half hour, we had been told girl-boy, boy-boy, and girl-girl. SO WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY?! Who the hell knows at this point.
The most frustrating part about this--we were planning a gender reveal party for this weekend. Well, cancel that. No genders to reveal. The waiting game begins again. July 23rd. They better be on their best behavior and give up the money shots. I'm tired of waiting!
Monday, June 18, 2012
Yes, I still exist.
Ok. Not blogging for four months was only partly on purpose. The on purpose part was because I was scared. The not-so on purpose part was my pregnancy brain. Since school's let it out I've been on summer mode, and plum forgot to post.
Yes, I still exist. Yes, my pregnancy does, too. In fact....we are growin' twins! Everything involved in the first trimester was so crazy and overwhelming. I felt like I couldn't say it out loud....write it, type it, or anything. I thought if I did, maybe I would jinx it and it would all go away.
Thankfully, it hasn't and I FINALLY feel comfortable enough to say it, type it, SCREAM IT--WE'RE HAVING TWINS!!!!!
Not much to say about the first trimester, to be honest. Overwhelming, scary, freaked out, but overall I physically felt pretty good. Although it went fast, being petite and pregnant with twins, I've been changing fast! Take a look....
I did find a bunch of fun "blogger-type" questions that I've been answering through this pregnancy. I think I'll start posting them here as well! So, here's the latest!
Yes, I still exist. Yes, my pregnancy does, too. In fact....we are growin' twins! Everything involved in the first trimester was so crazy and overwhelming. I felt like I couldn't say it out loud....write it, type it, or anything. I thought if I did, maybe I would jinx it and it would all go away.
Thankfully, it hasn't and I FINALLY feel comfortable enough to say it, type it, SCREAM IT--WE'RE HAVING TWINS!!!!!
Not much to say about the first trimester, to be honest. Overwhelming, scary, freaked out, but overall I physically felt pretty good. Although it went fast, being petite and pregnant with twins, I've been changing fast! Take a look....
HOORAY-IT'S POSITIVE!
HOORAY- FOUR MONTHS!!
I did find a bunch of fun "blogger-type" questions that I've been answering through this pregnancy. I think I'll start posting them here as well! So, here's the latest!
How far along? 15w, 6 d, 16 weeks
tomorrow
Total weight gain/loss: up to a consistent 115-116…on a good bloated day 117!
Maternity clothes? Oh yes, when I’m in public. At home it’s t-shirts and cotton shorts
Stretch marks? Not yet, but the belly be round, that’s for sure!
Sleep: It’s ok. Laying on my side is hard still. My shoulder & hip starts to hurt to so roll to my other side, but rolling isn’t the easiest anymore, either. I pretty much wake myself up, sit up, and then turn over. It’s only going to get worse J
Best moment this week: My mom was here to help with step 1 of office-turned-nursery transformation. Got everything moved and organized to the basement!
Have you told family and friends: Yes!!! It was facebook official yesterday, Friday 6-15! I put a picture with a pair of my shoes, Heath’s boots, and a 2 pairs of green & purple booties along with the caption, “Here’s our latest project! We’re expanding our home by FOUR feet!! Estimated completion date: November 2012!!!
Total weight gain/loss: up to a consistent 115-116…on a good bloated day 117!
Maternity clothes? Oh yes, when I’m in public. At home it’s t-shirts and cotton shorts
Stretch marks? Not yet, but the belly be round, that’s for sure!
Sleep: It’s ok. Laying on my side is hard still. My shoulder & hip starts to hurt to so roll to my other side, but rolling isn’t the easiest anymore, either. I pretty much wake myself up, sit up, and then turn over. It’s only going to get worse J
Best moment this week: My mom was here to help with step 1 of office-turned-nursery transformation. Got everything moved and organized to the basement!
Have you told family and friends: Yes!!! It was facebook official yesterday, Friday 6-15! I put a picture with a pair of my shoes, Heath’s boots, and a 2 pairs of green & purple booties along with the caption, “Here’s our latest project! We’re expanding our home by FOUR feet!! Estimated completion date: November 2012!!!
Miss Anything? Sort of missing wine, but I think it’s
more the social aspect of it…I wetted my lips with my sis’ glass of wine the
other night, yuck.
Movement: the little flutters continue, but they quickly stop if I start pressing my tummy. Need to try to not touch my belly when they start.
Movement: the little flutters continue, but they quickly stop if I start pressing my tummy. Need to try to not touch my belly when they start.
Food cravings: Not really, still working hard to focus
on high protein and cal intake, but I’m not charting my every meal
anymore. I figured out my average
a day is around 2,500 cal and 100 g of protein. I think I’m doing ok.
I’ve gained about 1 lb each week since charting.
Anything making
you queasy or sick: the last week I’ve had 3
incidents where I felt sick and like I was going to pass out….coulda been low
blood sugar, or maybe I got a little overheated.
Have you started to show yet: oh yah.
Have you started to show yet: oh yah.
Gender prediction: 2 boys? Ha, I dunno. Find out in 2 weeks!
Labor
Signs: no
Belly Button in or out? Quickly becoming an outie!
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: happy…and tired!
Looking forward to: next week—meeting up with some old classmates on Thursday and appointment on Friday
Belly Button in or out? Quickly becoming an outie!
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: happy…and tired!
Looking forward to: next week—meeting up with some old classmates on Thursday and appointment on Friday
Next Appointment: “first ob” appointment on Friday, 6-22. I will have had to wait 3 weeks for
this appointment. Totally going
crazy waiting to see them again.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Officially official! Updated!
Beta #1: 602 on Sunday 3/25/12!
To me it seemed crazy high, but I guess since I was testing positive 4 days before my beta (with a pretty good solid line) it makes sense. If I would've had the beta done right away, it would have been much lower for the initial one. Beta #2 tomorrow morning!!!!
Crossing our fingers that the number keeps growing, just like that lil bean in there!!!
Beta #2 Update!!!!
I went in for beta #2 this morning. 1,218! Looks great, doubling well! Next appointment will be for the big ultrasound to find the heartbeat!!!! April 9th can't come soon enough!!!
To me it seemed crazy high, but I guess since I was testing positive 4 days before my beta (with a pretty good solid line) it makes sense. If I would've had the beta done right away, it would have been much lower for the initial one. Beta #2 tomorrow morning!!!!
Crossing our fingers that the number keeps growing, just like that lil bean in there!!!
Beta #2 Update!!!!
I went in for beta #2 this morning. 1,218! Looks great, doubling well! Next appointment will be for the big ultrasound to find the heartbeat!!!! April 9th can't come soon enough!!!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Unofficially offiicial.
Ok, I lied about holding out to test until Saturday. Hell, I tested on an IC when I got home yesterday. LOL. I busted out the big guns this morning before I told hubby. He was cute!! Poor guy, he was so confused at first and then so excited! I woke him up at 5:30, which wasn't very nice of me, but I had to tell him!
Here's a picture of the first digi I've ever taken!!!!
Here is the progression from my test from Monday (trigger "test"), yesterday's test, and this morning 's test (bottom).
I'm still going to be a little cautious; anything can happen and I know the beta will tell us much, much more. Pray for us that this is our sticky bean and our beta is nice and high and this sweet baby inside of me is snuggled in and growing!!!!
Here's a picture of the first digi I've ever taken!!!!
Here is the progression from my test from Monday (trigger "test"), yesterday's test, and this morning 's test (bottom).
I'm still going to be a little cautious; anything can happen and I know the beta will tell us much, much more. Pray for us that this is our sticky bean and our beta is nice and high and this sweet baby inside of me is snuggled in and growing!!!!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Freaking. Out.
O.M.G. I think I might be knocked up!
After having a terrible nightmare that my period started...and my parents announced to me that they were expecting again, I woke up this morning in a cold sweat....and on a mission to POAS!!!!
I know, I know....I said I was going to hold out. and I was. I really was.....until my bizarre-o dream! Now, confession time: this is actually the 2nd time I POAS this cycle. I did on Monday as well. But I had a good, justifiable reason: to see if the trigger shot was out of my system yet. I was 8 DPIUI and I knew it was way too early for a true positive, so any shade of a line would be a good way to gauge the trigger. There was a little bit of a line on Monday, no more than an evap line, really. In fact, it wasn't even there until I came back to it an hour later. I didn't take any pictures, chucked it in the trashcan, and went on with my life (yeah, right...).
So this morning, I pee on a good ole Wondfo cheapie and.....WTF?! 2 lines?!?!?! Well, I noticed a small "nick" where the test line was, so I quickly invalidated the results.....and grabbed another test. I ended up grabbing another brand, and alas, no real line. But wait....wondfo is much more sensitive I tell myself, and I grab a third! ...and there it was..... 2 F'ING PINK LINES OH.MY.GOD. I almost passed out!
The top test in the photo is the first test, the one with the nick in it. The bottom was the 2nd test, a different brand. The middle test was the one I couldn't "debunk". I know it's wayyyyyyy early; I'm only 10 DPIUI right now and now I have to SOMEHOW wait another 4 days before I call the doctor and have a beta done. But I'm seriously SHOCKED right now!!!! These lines, even on the bottom one, are much more evident than the test from Monday.
I didn't tell Heath yet. I don't think I had even believed it myself! I'm going to TRY and hold off testing again until Saturday morning, and then I'm going to bust out the big guns. Yep, that's right, the digis that I've had and NEVER EVER got to use!!! WOOOO-HOOOO! Even if Sunday comes and the lines disappear, I KNOW I AM PREGNANT RIGHT NOW! It means it worked! After 20 months of charting, bleeding, crying, and feeling an indescribable pain, WE DID IT. I pray pray pray this is OUR BABY and it's a sticky bean. More to follow!!!!
After having a terrible nightmare that my period started...and my parents announced to me that they were expecting again, I woke up this morning in a cold sweat....and on a mission to POAS!!!!
I know, I know....I said I was going to hold out. and I was. I really was.....until my bizarre-o dream! Now, confession time: this is actually the 2nd time I POAS this cycle. I did on Monday as well. But I had a good, justifiable reason: to see if the trigger shot was out of my system yet. I was 8 DPIUI and I knew it was way too early for a true positive, so any shade of a line would be a good way to gauge the trigger. There was a little bit of a line on Monday, no more than an evap line, really. In fact, it wasn't even there until I came back to it an hour later. I didn't take any pictures, chucked it in the trashcan, and went on with my life (yeah, right...).
So this morning, I pee on a good ole Wondfo cheapie and.....WTF?! 2 lines?!?!?! Well, I noticed a small "nick" where the test line was, so I quickly invalidated the results.....and grabbed another test. I ended up grabbing another brand, and alas, no real line. But wait....wondfo is much more sensitive I tell myself, and I grab a third! ...and there it was..... 2 F'ING PINK LINES OH.MY.GOD. I almost passed out!
The top test in the photo is the first test, the one with the nick in it. The bottom was the 2nd test, a different brand. The middle test was the one I couldn't "debunk". I know it's wayyyyyyy early; I'm only 10 DPIUI right now and now I have to SOMEHOW wait another 4 days before I call the doctor and have a beta done. But I'm seriously SHOCKED right now!!!! These lines, even on the bottom one, are much more evident than the test from Monday.
I didn't tell Heath yet. I don't think I had even believed it myself! I'm going to TRY and hold off testing again until Saturday morning, and then I'm going to bust out the big guns. Yep, that's right, the digis that I've had and NEVER EVER got to use!!! WOOOO-HOOOO! Even if Sunday comes and the lines disappear, I KNOW I AM PREGNANT RIGHT NOW! It means it worked! After 20 months of charting, bleeding, crying, and feeling an indescribable pain, WE DID IT. I pray pray pray this is OUR BABY and it's a sticky bean. More to follow!!!!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Pregnancy vs. Progesterone vs. Cold?
Today is 6 DPIUI. Now, in the past, that would mean I would start spotting tomorrow or Monday and AF would follow the next day. I'm praying that the prometrium does it's job and holds AF off. I will be devastated if it doesn't. This week started out pretty uneventful and I was doing a pretty good job keeping my mind off of things...that is, until I came down with this cold/flu of the year.
So now the big question is......pregnancy vs. progesterone vs. cold? What am I suffering from? 1, 2, or 3 of these?!? I guess time will tell, but it's pretty annoying not knowing the source of my misery! :) I mean, if it's from pregnancy I will gladly take feeling like death warmed over!
Let me walk you through my week.
1-2 DPIUI: Monday & Tuesday-I continued to have fleeting twinges and cramps and some bloating, but nothing new for me. I tend to have what I describe as ovulation pains for several days after O, so nothing too surprising about this.
3 DPIUI: Wednesday-Began prometrium in the morning. "Twingy" cramps continue, but I also experience a "heaviness" or "fullness" in my uterus, along with bloating. That's definitely a new one for me. That afternoon I started sneezing and coughing, but I chalked it up to possible allergies, as we're having an early spring. (Oh and believe me...I'm not complaining about 80 degree weather in March in Nebraska! No way! Bring it!)
4-5 DPIUI: Thursday & Friday-I felt pretty good all day Thursday until about 2'o clock...then BAM. I started noticing my boobs were sore along the sides, I was starving, but nothing sounded good, and I was exhausted. I had officially hit a wall-I figured being 36 hours into the progesterone was the reason for these symptoms, but my "allergies" had turned into body aches, freezing cold (and it's 80 outside), dull headache, tightness in my chest, runny nose...I ended up leaving work a little early just so I could go home and lay on my couch. I slept like crap Thursday night and had to get up with the dog (which pissed me off, I don't know why...I do every night and it doesn't usually bug me). So Friday I woke up with the sore throat/cough thing. By late morning I was feeling ok, but by 3:00 I was done for. I went home and took my place on the couch once again. I slept like crap again last night, even though I made the poor pup sleep in her kennel so I wouldn't have to get up and let her out (poor Lola!). I was awake every few hours with my stuffy nose and drainage down my throat (gross, sorry).
So....is the cold just a cold? Is the cold a pregnancy symptom? Is it just progesterone symptoms topped off with a cold? Is it all three??!? UGH. All I know is this week was the slowest week ever....what's next week going to be like?!
one week down, one to go.
So now the big question is......pregnancy vs. progesterone vs. cold? What am I suffering from? 1, 2, or 3 of these?!? I guess time will tell, but it's pretty annoying not knowing the source of my misery! :) I mean, if it's from pregnancy I will gladly take feeling like death warmed over!
Let me walk you through my week.
1-2 DPIUI: Monday & Tuesday-I continued to have fleeting twinges and cramps and some bloating, but nothing new for me. I tend to have what I describe as ovulation pains for several days after O, so nothing too surprising about this.
3 DPIUI: Wednesday-Began prometrium in the morning. "Twingy" cramps continue, but I also experience a "heaviness" or "fullness" in my uterus, along with bloating. That's definitely a new one for me. That afternoon I started sneezing and coughing, but I chalked it up to possible allergies, as we're having an early spring. (Oh and believe me...I'm not complaining about 80 degree weather in March in Nebraska! No way! Bring it!)
4-5 DPIUI: Thursday & Friday-I felt pretty good all day Thursday until about 2'o clock...then BAM. I started noticing my boobs were sore along the sides, I was starving, but nothing sounded good, and I was exhausted. I had officially hit a wall-I figured being 36 hours into the progesterone was the reason for these symptoms, but my "allergies" had turned into body aches, freezing cold (and it's 80 outside), dull headache, tightness in my chest, runny nose...I ended up leaving work a little early just so I could go home and lay on my couch. I slept like crap Thursday night and had to get up with the dog (which pissed me off, I don't know why...I do every night and it doesn't usually bug me). So Friday I woke up with the sore throat/cough thing. By late morning I was feeling ok, but by 3:00 I was done for. I went home and took my place on the couch once again. I slept like crap again last night, even though I made the poor pup sleep in her kennel so I wouldn't have to get up and let her out (poor Lola!). I was awake every few hours with my stuffy nose and drainage down my throat (gross, sorry).
So....is the cold just a cold? Is the cold a pregnancy symptom? Is it just progesterone symptoms topped off with a cold? Is it all three??!? UGH. All I know is this week was the slowest week ever....what's next week going to be like?!
one week down, one to go.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Did we just make a baby?!
Wait-what?! I'm excited (and somewhat shocked) to announce that we had the IUI procedure this morning. Now, I know that just because we did IUI doesn't mean we're knocked up, but actually being able to follow through with the procedure feels like a HUGE moral victory.
We went last Thursday for our scheduled blood work and ultrasound. They determined I had 1 follicle at 17mm, 1 at 14mm, and 1 at 13mm. My lining looked good, as did all my hormone levels. She wanted to push me one more day with meds to get that 17mm a little more mature, but that also meant it pushed the other 2 smaller ones. She estimated 2 mature follicles by the time of IUI. I'm sort of freaking out about the potential of having twins, but of course I would be all for it! DH confessed in the car on the way home he hopes we catch both eggies! It's still a little crazy to me if we even get one, so I'm not going to let myself get too carried away daydreaming about multiples. :)
I start progesterone on Wednesday, continue with it until my test date-March 25th. Oh my gosh....I've never actually had a 2WW, usually AF is here by 8 DPO! I'm vowing not to test early and I'm not testing out my trigger...we'll see how that goes. If I make it past 8 DPO...those last 6 days are going to a bear!
We went last Thursday for our scheduled blood work and ultrasound. They determined I had 1 follicle at 17mm, 1 at 14mm, and 1 at 13mm. My lining looked good, as did all my hormone levels. She wanted to push me one more day with meds to get that 17mm a little more mature, but that also meant it pushed the other 2 smaller ones. She estimated 2 mature follicles by the time of IUI. I'm sort of freaking out about the potential of having twins, but of course I would be all for it! DH confessed in the car on the way home he hopes we catch both eggies! It's still a little crazy to me if we even get one, so I'm not going to let myself get too carried away daydreaming about multiples. :)
I start progesterone on Wednesday, continue with it until my test date-March 25th. Oh my gosh....I've never actually had a 2WW, usually AF is here by 8 DPO! I'm vowing not to test early and I'm not testing out my trigger...we'll see how that goes. If I make it past 8 DPO...those last 6 days are going to a bear!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Ding, Ding! Round 2
So my last couple posts have been very negative; I apologize. It seems that 'off cycle' is the worst! Another pack of birth control has come and gone and here we are: ready for Round 2. AF graced me with her presence on Thursday morning. Really, these off cycles are the only time I enjoy her arrival! I went in for my baseline ultrasound today. I left feeling a little concerned that the only medicine I was possibly going to get to be taking was birth control again because of a small cyst that has still lingered (dumb thing!!). However (drum roll please)......we're go for launch! The doctor said it wasn't too concerning. After the last octo-fiasco, I assumed my doctor would be requiring my constant ultrasounds to be done in her office (a smooth 4 hours away), but we don't! In fact, I don't have any ultrasounds/bloodwork between now and CD 14. I'm sort of nervous about this, as with Follistim it's necessary to watch it closely, but the doctor said after our "experimental" cycle, she knows what she wants to do and doesn't think there's any reason for the constant u/s.
So here it is: the fertile cocktail for the next 2 weeks:
Although I'm nervous that I won't be having all the u/s and blood work, I know that I've got to put my faith in the Lord and trust my doctor, since she knows better than I do! The great news is the 8th & 9th is our "spring break" so if nothing else positive comes out of this cycle, at least I didn't have to take yet another sick day!! Woo-hoo!
So here it is: the fertile cocktail for the next 2 weeks:
~75iu: Sunday 2/26 through Thursday 3/1
~100iu: Friday 3/2 through Sunday 3/4
~125iu: Monday 3/5 through Wednesday 3/7
~Thursday 3/8 appointment in Omaha for ultrasound/blood work with Dr. D.
Although I'm nervous that I won't be having all the u/s and blood work, I know that I've got to put my faith in the Lord and trust my doctor, since she knows better than I do! The great news is the 8th & 9th is our "spring break" so if nothing else positive comes out of this cycle, at least I didn't have to take yet another sick day!! Woo-hoo!
Monday, February 6, 2012
the "baby" elephant in the room
I would like to think that I've handled everything the ride of infertility has thrown at me in an okay manner. Sure, I've had my moments when I've broke down, had a temper tantrum, or been sad because of everything. But, all things considered, I think I've done quite well. I mean, a few weeks ago on facebook there were seven pregnancy announcements! SEVEN! Seeing stuff like that used to make me cringe, but now, I hardly even bat an eye. Having said that, I think it's probably because these people are acquaintances, friends of friends, etc. not anyone particularly close to me.
Well, my ability to "deal" apparently goes out the window when it's someone close to me. Last night, some friends of ours announced their 8 weeks along. Now I know I've said this before, I it still rings true here--I'm happy for them, I am. But I'm even more sad for us. These friends are good people, I love them dearly, really, I do. BUT....they just got married in September, hell, we've been TRYING longer than they've known each other. She told me before the Super Bowl started and we were at their house. Yeah, that was a great time, sitting there trying to keep that ugly green-headed envious monster from rearing it's little head throughout an entireboring football game. Every so often I had to excuse myself to the restroom, mainly to empty my bladder since I was chugging beer like I was in college again, and also to let out the sobs I was suppressing.
We got in the car to leave, and DH knew that something was up. I'm pretty sure I looked a combination of someone about to puke & cry. I couldn't control myself. I completely lost it. Sobbing uncontrollably. I don't like that these meltdowns are happening more frequently. DH's first response was, 'well that's good for them, right?' to which I wanted to respond to by punching him in the face (I didn't...). We got home and got ready for bed, still sobbing of course. He laid with me in bed and decided to play the role of cheerleader first, 'you're strong, it's going to be okay, we just gotta have faith' which then moved into the role of coach, 'you're not a quitter!, you need to snap out of this,'. I didn't take that very well, needless to say. It then turned into him word-vomiting how he feels like he has to 'walk on eggshells around me' and 'can't even feel excited for his sister who's due soon, because he's afraid it'll upset me'. It ended with him storming out of the room and not coming to bed until 3 hours later. Awesome. That's just what I needed, this to turn into a huge f*cking fight between the two of us. I don't understand why he couldn't just lay there with me in silence??? Why did he feel the need to keep talking, digging himself a hole until I eventually blew up at him?! I can't understand why he doesn't get why I'm sad...I'm simple mourning the loss of our fertility, our ability to do this the normal, old-fashioned way. Is he not sad about it?!
What a shitty way to start the week. I slept like crap last night and feel like shit today. Neither of us are very good at letting things go, so I know it's going to an awkward, long night when he gets home from work. F.
Well, my ability to "deal" apparently goes out the window when it's someone close to me. Last night, some friends of ours announced their 8 weeks along. Now I know I've said this before, I it still rings true here--I'm happy for them, I am. But I'm even more sad for us. These friends are good people, I love them dearly, really, I do. BUT....they just got married in September, hell, we've been TRYING longer than they've known each other. She told me before the Super Bowl started and we were at their house. Yeah, that was a great time, sitting there trying to keep that ugly green-headed envious monster from rearing it's little head throughout an entire
We got in the car to leave, and DH knew that something was up. I'm pretty sure I looked a combination of someone about to puke & cry. I couldn't control myself. I completely lost it. Sobbing uncontrollably. I don't like that these meltdowns are happening more frequently. DH's first response was, 'well that's good for them, right?' to which I wanted to respond to by punching him in the face (I didn't...). We got home and got ready for bed, still sobbing of course. He laid with me in bed and decided to play the role of cheerleader first, 'you're strong, it's going to be okay, we just gotta have faith' which then moved into the role of coach, 'you're not a quitter!, you need to snap out of this,'. I didn't take that very well, needless to say. It then turned into him word-vomiting how he feels like he has to 'walk on eggshells around me' and 'can't even feel excited for his sister who's due soon, because he's afraid it'll upset me'. It ended with him storming out of the room and not coming to bed until 3 hours later. Awesome. That's just what I needed, this to turn into a huge f*cking fight between the two of us. I don't understand why he couldn't just lay there with me in silence??? Why did he feel the need to keep talking, digging himself a hole until I eventually blew up at him?! I can't understand why he doesn't get why I'm sad...I'm simple mourning the loss of our fertility, our ability to do this the normal, old-fashioned way. Is he not sad about it?!
What a shitty way to start the week. I slept like crap last night and feel like shit today. Neither of us are very good at letting things go, so I know it's going to an awkward, long night when he gets home from work. F.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Here we go again.
Welp, here we are again, a new chapter in our story, only...it feels like I'm reading it backwards, not forwards. It's almost like the last month ever happened. Only it did....and I don't know how I feel about it. Empty. Hollow. Nothing. That's a good way to describe it. Maybe my emotions just need to be turned off for awhile to let myself re-coop mentally. My period started Monday and today I started birth control again. We'll continue writing our story in March.
I had a great chat/therapy session with my infertile/just miscarried friend over the weekend. Boy, was that great to get to talk to her. I think we both needed it. We enjoyed several bottles of wine over the course of our visit...(we shared with DH's...don't worry...we're not that big of lushes...although I did have a lil headache the next morning!). We were both in such positive moods, I don't know, maybe I drained myself of it. All I know is this week I'm empty. No sadness. No happiness. No nothing. I've been a bit of a zombie and I'm really hoping I snap out of it soon. Although...it might not be such a bad thing for it to last a few more weeks. I'm meeting up with 3 girlfriends from college---and all 3 of their adorable infants--next weekend. Maybe 'nothing' is what I need to make it through that emotional torture?
I had a great chat/therapy session with my infertile/just miscarried friend over the weekend. Boy, was that great to get to talk to her. I think we both needed it. We enjoyed several bottles of wine over the course of our visit...(we shared with DH's...don't worry...we're not that big of lushes...although I did have a lil headache the next morning!). We were both in such positive moods, I don't know, maybe I drained myself of it. All I know is this week I'm empty. No sadness. No happiness. No nothing. I've been a bit of a zombie and I'm really hoping I snap out of it soon. Although...it might not be such a bad thing for it to last a few more weeks. I'm meeting up with 3 girlfriends from college---and all 3 of their adorable infants--next weekend. Maybe 'nothing' is what I need to make it through that emotional torture?
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Octomom, anyone?
Geez. Where is my 'gray zone'??? Why does my body insist on doing things to one extreme or the other?!?
Good News: I responded to Follistim.
Bad News: I could have been the next Octomom. Seriously.
Our IUI has been cancelled due to having too many follicles. 8 possible mature follicles to be exact. EIGHT. WHAT?!?! How can a person go from not being able to produce ONE quality egg to EIGHT follicles ranging from 14-19mm???
The nurse called on Thursday afternoon with the results I was anticipating--Dr. Doherty was concerned with follicle amount and size. She wanted to see us in person for u/s and blood work before she decided what the next step would be. I told DH we would be making the drive to see her; he was little irritated that we would have to go to Omaha for the same thing they could do in Kearney.....he was changing his tune after we met with her and realized what a fiasco we had on our hands. I tried to keep my composure while we were going over everything and what our next steps would be, but it was hard. She thinks we need to try one more round of Follistim, moving just a little slower with the med dosage and monitoring my estrogen more, as my estrogen levels were much lower than they should have been for the amount of follicles I had. If I still overstim, we will scrap IUI all together and move onto IVF this summer (this is because we can control how many go in...where with IUI there's no telling how many will fertilize). She said with IVF she will push me hard with the meds, hoping to get the same results as we had this cycle, then do ET and IVF.
I know this is a "good problem" to have, much better than if I wouldn't have responded to the meds at all...but I'm still so disappointed that we start the wait over, again.....I will begin another pack of birth control so we can start the next injection cycle from a baseline. This means that we won't get started again until March. The waiting part is what sucks. I know we're on the right path....I need to dig deep, yet again, and find the patience I'm needing to get through this and remember that this is GOD'S WILL. HIS WILL BE DONE.....NOT MINE!
Good News: I responded to Follistim.
Bad News: I could have been the next Octomom. Seriously.
Our IUI has been cancelled due to having too many follicles. 8 possible mature follicles to be exact. EIGHT. WHAT?!?! How can a person go from not being able to produce ONE quality egg to EIGHT follicles ranging from 14-19mm???
The nurse called on Thursday afternoon with the results I was anticipating--Dr. Doherty was concerned with follicle amount and size. She wanted to see us in person for u/s and blood work before she decided what the next step would be. I told DH we would be making the drive to see her; he was little irritated that we would have to go to Omaha for the same thing they could do in Kearney.....he was changing his tune after we met with her and realized what a fiasco we had on our hands. I tried to keep my composure while we were going over everything and what our next steps would be, but it was hard. She thinks we need to try one more round of Follistim, moving just a little slower with the med dosage and monitoring my estrogen more, as my estrogen levels were much lower than they should have been for the amount of follicles I had. If I still overstim, we will scrap IUI all together and move onto IVF this summer (this is because we can control how many go in...where with IUI there's no telling how many will fertilize). She said with IVF she will push me hard with the meds, hoping to get the same results as we had this cycle, then do ET and IVF.
I know this is a "good problem" to have, much better than if I wouldn't have responded to the meds at all...but I'm still so disappointed that we start the wait over, again.....I will begin another pack of birth control so we can start the next injection cycle from a baseline. This means that we won't get started again until March. The waiting part is what sucks. I know we're on the right path....I need to dig deep, yet again, and find the patience I'm needing to get through this and remember that this is GOD'S WILL. HIS WILL BE DONE.....NOT MINE!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
CD 14 update
Well, the 150iu of Follistim must have been where it was at for me! Follicles are now growing approx. 2mm a day. Today, I had two measuring 18mm, and one measuring 17mm.
Here's the kicker now....we've already told the doctor no embryo reduction, so that means they will cancel the trigger/IUI if there's too many (I'm too small to handle more than 2 in there she thought....and I'd probably have to agree!) UGH. This afternoon is going to creep by. Maybe I'm just being paranoid with this and I'm freaking out for nothing....
Here's the kicker now....we've already told the doctor no embryo reduction, so that means they will cancel the trigger/IUI if there's too many (I'm too small to handle more than 2 in there she thought....and I'd probably have to agree!) UGH. This afternoon is going to creep by. Maybe I'm just being paranoid with this and I'm freaking out for nothing....
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
A happy & sad heart
It's with a heavy heart that I'm writing about yesterday's ultrasound & bloodwork appointment. Monday night, I got a text from my infertile/pregnant friend with sad news. They went for their 11 week checkup and found there was no heartbeat. The baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks. My friend is devastated...as am I for them. Not gonna lie...their pregnancy and BFP was the one I was vicariously living through. My heart hurts for them. She text me yesterday about how they got the hospital for her d/c and they had to make a lot of decisions they didn't know they would be face with: if they wanted to bury the fetus or have the hospital take care of it, did they want it baptized, etc. She said it was much more difficult than she ever imagined. I have no idea what to do or say....so I sent flowers? What else could I do??? I can empathize, but I have absolutely no idea how she feels. And get this....silly girl.....she was asking ME how everything went at my checkup. REALLY??? I almost couldn't bring myself to say the words, I was feeling so guilty (and I'm not even knocked up yet!)
As for my appointment, I was slightly disappointed at the ultrasound..I'm not sure why....I think it had a lot to do with the fact I was CD 12 and my follicle size wasn't very big. I know, I know....it doesn't matter what day it is when you're on the meds....everything is monitored so closely and the cycle day really doesn't matter at this point, but it was still hard to not let it get in my head. The nurse made a comment like, "Oh so you're getting very close!" To which my response was, "uhhh, yeah probably not." Last Saturday, I had 6 small follies on one side, 4 on the other, the biggest ones were 9.5 and 9.8. CD 12 I have one at 14mm and one at 13mm....a few others that are pretty tiny still (10mmX2, 8mm). I left the doctor's office a little sad (again..not sure why!) and waited for my phone call.
My mind was put at ease when my doctor's nurse called yesterday afternoon. I guess the upped dosage of 150iu Follistim did the trick! My estradiol numbers are looking great, and *FX* by the end of the week/weekend, we will be doing IUI. I have one more shot tonight, another checkup in Kearney tomorrow, and then....who knows! Possibly trigger tomorrow or we may have another checkup. Either way.....we are getting close! I wish my heart could be 100% excited for our progress, but I can't help but mourn for our friends at the same time. My friend told me last night that her DH (who's my DH's best friend dating back to middle school...) broke down for the first time when the flowers we'd sent arrived. It broke my heart to hear that. She kept saying that she wants me to keep sharing our good news after each appointment, but I'm still struggling to do that. I was very honest and asked her to please tell me when our good news is causing them more pain. That's the last thing I want to do.
Updates to come...
As for my appointment, I was slightly disappointed at the ultrasound..I'm not sure why....I think it had a lot to do with the fact I was CD 12 and my follicle size wasn't very big. I know, I know....it doesn't matter what day it is when you're on the meds....everything is monitored so closely and the cycle day really doesn't matter at this point, but it was still hard to not let it get in my head. The nurse made a comment like, "Oh so you're getting very close!" To which my response was, "uhhh, yeah probably not." Last Saturday, I had 6 small follies on one side, 4 on the other, the biggest ones were 9.5 and 9.8. CD 12 I have one at 14mm and one at 13mm....a few others that are pretty tiny still (10mmX2, 8mm). I left the doctor's office a little sad (again..not sure why!) and waited for my phone call.
My mind was put at ease when my doctor's nurse called yesterday afternoon. I guess the upped dosage of 150iu Follistim did the trick! My estradiol numbers are looking great, and *FX* by the end of the week/weekend, we will be doing IUI. I have one more shot tonight, another checkup in Kearney tomorrow, and then....who knows! Possibly trigger tomorrow or we may have another checkup. Either way.....we are getting close! I wish my heart could be 100% excited for our progress, but I can't help but mourn for our friends at the same time. My friend told me last night that her DH (who's my DH's best friend dating back to middle school...) broke down for the first time when the flowers we'd sent arrived. It broke my heart to hear that. She kept saying that she wants me to keep sharing our good news after each appointment, but I'm still struggling to do that. I was very honest and asked her to please tell me when our good news is causing them more pain. That's the last thing I want to do.
Updates to come...
Saturday, January 14, 2012
A story of HOPE
A few weeks ago, while I was home sitting on my butt during Christmas break, I started browsing through different fertility books on amazon.com. On several occasions I had come across the book Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake. I am always looking for new fertility reading material and decided this would be my next purchase. I ordered it off of eBay for like $7 (including shipping!)....gotta love eBay! Anyways, it arrived this week. I started reading a little here and there when I'd come home from work. Right away I felt this book tugging at me, calling me. So last night, as DH was watching T.V. (more like sleeping in front of the T.V) I continued to read Hannah's Hope.
WOW. What an incredible story. In a nutshell, the author tells two stories simultaneously, her own journey of infertility, miscarriages, and adoption loss, and the story of Hannah from the Old Testament. If you are a spiritual person and are looking for some spiritual guidance, this is THE BOOK to read. I finished the entire book in about 3 hours. I felt such a connection to both the author and to Hannah---not because of the journey of infertility, but because of the similarities of our spiritual journeys. It made me reflect on where we've been, where we're at, and where we hope to be. I would highly recommend this book to anyone struggling to give up complete control to God, anyone living in the past or future, or if you're wanting to find that inner peace while on this journey. I can honestly say that this morning I woke up with a renewed sense of HOPE and a peace that hasn't been in my soul in a very, very long time.
My timing (wait...God's timing for me) reading this book couldn't have been any better. This morning was my first checkup since starting injections on Monday. I am on CD 9 today. Although the results weren't as great as they could have been, I took the news with stride, acceptance, and trust that He knows what He's doing and everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to! Results of the u/s showed I have multiple follicles growing: left side-9.5, 9.7, 9.0, 7.5, 7.0mm and right side-9.8, 9.5, 7.6, 7.6mm and lining was 4 1/2 mm. Estradiol was 77. Sooooo....things are progressing, but not as well as they would like, so I've been bumped up to 150 iu of Follistim and have another appointment on Tuesday to check again.
I have such a good feeling of hope right now--and it really has nothing to do with this cycle working or not. I think I've finally been able to truly give this up to God. I know there will be times when I want to snatch it back from God, but I need to remind myself that I have given it up to Him and that HE AND ONLY HE is in control of this journey.
WOW. What an incredible story. In a nutshell, the author tells two stories simultaneously, her own journey of infertility, miscarriages, and adoption loss, and the story of Hannah from the Old Testament. If you are a spiritual person and are looking for some spiritual guidance, this is THE BOOK to read. I finished the entire book in about 3 hours. I felt such a connection to both the author and to Hannah---not because of the journey of infertility, but because of the similarities of our spiritual journeys. It made me reflect on where we've been, where we're at, and where we hope to be. I would highly recommend this book to anyone struggling to give up complete control to God, anyone living in the past or future, or if you're wanting to find that inner peace while on this journey. I can honestly say that this morning I woke up with a renewed sense of HOPE and a peace that hasn't been in my soul in a very, very long time.
My timing (wait...God's timing for me) reading this book couldn't have been any better. This morning was my first checkup since starting injections on Monday. I am on CD 9 today. Although the results weren't as great as they could have been, I took the news with stride, acceptance, and trust that He knows what He's doing and everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to! Results of the u/s showed I have multiple follicles growing: left side-9.5, 9.7, 9.0, 7.5, 7.0mm and right side-9.8, 9.5, 7.6, 7.6mm and lining was 4 1/2 mm. Estradiol was 77. Sooooo....things are progressing, but not as well as they would like, so I've been bumped up to 150 iu of Follistim and have another appointment on Tuesday to check again.
I have such a good feeling of hope right now--and it really has nothing to do with this cycle working or not. I think I've finally been able to truly give this up to God. I know there will be times when I want to snatch it back from God, but I need to remind myself that I have given it up to Him and that HE AND ONLY HE is in control of this journey.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Ready, Set, INJECT!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen....we have liftoff!!!!!! My appointment on Monday went great. Lining was measuring 2 1/2-3mm (wayyyyy better than 12mm like it was last month!!) and my estrogen levels were under 5 (not 148 like last time!!). I guess that pesky birth control did its job!!! We got the go-ahead on Monday afternoon from my doctor's nurse....
So here it is: 75 iu of Follistim Monday, January 9th through Friday, January 13th. So far the shots have been fine. The first night I sat there reading and re-reading the directions. Finally, DH knocked on the bathroom door asking if I had passed out! LOL. I have another u/s and blood work check on Saturday morning. Again, I don't have to go all the way for Omaha for it, I can do it in Kearney, so that's very helpful. After Saturday, we'll know a little more. I'm so freakin' excited that we are finally moving FORWARD! Since my last Clomid cycle in September we have been on a break from trying and, although I wouldn't have chosen for the break to last 4 months, it did but we are here NOW!
Continue to throw some prayers our way....I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic, but also realistic. I know this first round is somewhat a shot in the dark and if we don't catch the eggie, it'll be okay, but at the same time I'm sooooo pumped because this is truly our FIRST SHOT at getting pregnant since we started this journey a year and a half ago. FX....maybe we'll get ourselves a Halloween baby!!!
So here it is: 75 iu of Follistim Monday, January 9th through Friday, January 13th. So far the shots have been fine. The first night I sat there reading and re-reading the directions. Finally, DH knocked on the bathroom door asking if I had passed out! LOL. I have another u/s and blood work check on Saturday morning. Again, I don't have to go all the way for Omaha for it, I can do it in Kearney, so that's very helpful. After Saturday, we'll know a little more. I'm so freakin' excited that we are finally moving FORWARD! Since my last Clomid cycle in September we have been on a break from trying and, although I wouldn't have chosen for the break to last 4 months, it did but we are here NOW!
Continue to throw some prayers our way....I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic, but also realistic. I know this first round is somewhat a shot in the dark and if we don't catch the eggie, it'll be okay, but at the same time I'm sooooo pumped because this is truly our FIRST SHOT at getting pregnant since we started this journey a year and a half ago. FX....maybe we'll get ourselves a Halloween baby!!!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
One & Done!
I'm hoping this is the last birth control pill I'll ever have to take!!! Doctor's appointment on Monday to see if this sh*t did its job!! Fingers crossed....
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